How to Set Clear Boundaries in Love

How to Set Clear Boundaries in Love

Posted by in understanding men over 40 | 0 comments

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Do you struggle with setting boundaries? In this video, you’ll learn how to set clear boundaries in dating and relationships.

Boundaries are our emotional self-defense. They teach people how to treat us. They keep us safe and sane. When you set clear boundaries in love, you maintain your dignity and self-respect. You show your value as a person when you can say ‘no’ to what doesn’t work for you and ‘yes’ to what does. In this video, you’ll learn how to set clear boundaries in your love life.

How to Set Clear Boundaries in Love 

Step 1: Get clear on what you want/need and what you will and won’t do in dating and relationships.

4 Examples of Personal Boundaries You Set For Who to Date: 

  1. Sexual: I will not sleep with someone until we are monogamous and shared STI tests.
  2. World View: I will not be open to dating men who are very religious.
  3. Distance: I will be open to dating a man who lives 100 miles from me.
  4. Age: I will be open to dating men who are 10 years older/younger.

Step 2: Clearly and kindly set boundaries with men.

5 Examples of Boundaries You Set for Him: 

  1. Communication: No texting anything except facts and non-emotional information.
  2. Sexual: I am uncomfortable being touched or kissed before I’ve developed more trust.
  3. Time: I want to meet in person or video chat after a few text exchanges.
  4. Safety and Time: I want to meet for coffee or a drink for a first date (not a 3-hour hike, or a fancy 5-course meal).
  5. Time: I will kindly end the date when it’s going on too long.

Quick boundary scripts:

  • I’m not comfortable with _________. I’m more comfortable with ____________.
  • That doesn’t work for me. Can I tell you what works better?
  • Ouch.

Step 3: Observe how he responds to your boundary.

If he pushes back, he’s saying his needs are more important than yours, and that’s a red flag.

If he is apologetic and understanding when crossing a boundary, that’s a green flag.

As you can see, boundaries are one of the keys to healthy relationships. When you are clear about what you need, and you know how to set boundaries to protect those needs, you will improve all your relationships! 


If you need support in setting boundaries in your love life, apply for a complimentary 1/2 hour breakthrough session with Sandy and discover how coaching can help https://lastfirstdate.com/breakthrough

Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate

Get a copy of Sandy’s book, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love.

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