Riana Milne helps people heal from toxic relationships. Tune in to learn important tips and tools!
Celebrity coach, Riana Milne is a Global Life, Love Trauma Recovery & Mindset Coach who has appeared on CBS, NBC, ABC, Fox News, a prior Advice Columnist, and an author for top media outlets like eHarmony and Digital Romance. She has done the research on a cutting-edge topic that impacts 9/10 adults – and has the answers as to WHY 90% of adults struggle in life, love, and/or business.
In this episode of Last First Date Radio:
- What is a toxic relationship?
- Who is most susceptible to toxic relationships?
- What’s the difference between a narcissist, a sociopath and a psychopath?
- How can someone heal their unconscious trauma?
- What happens when you don’t heal from childhood trauma?
- Signs of a healthy relationship
Healing From Toxic Relationships
Why did you get involved in this field?
Even as a teen, I wanted to be a counselor. I wanted to know how celebrities ticked. I lost a dear friend at sixteen, which led me to read and study spiritual leaders. At twenty three, I lost a dear friend who was murdered by her boyfriend. I kept telling her to leave.
I married my college sweetheart. We were taught you fall in love by chemistry. Unfortunately, he and his father devised a scheme to take two hundred thousand dollars from my mother. I left him, and he came after me for child support. It was quite a challenge, but my mindset got me through tough times.
I married another guy who was Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. He had a secret life that ruined his life and mine. I annulled that marriage. Then, I set out to learn why I attracted these partners.
What is your definition of toxic relationships?
Anything that makes you feel sick emotionally or physically. High anxiety. Bouts of depression. Fear-based negative thoughts. Walking on eggshells. You want to forgive, but you never know when the next outburst will come. You get exhausted, burnt out.
What’s the difference between a narcissist, a sociopath and a psychopath?
Sociopath: Shallow emotions, missing empathy, don’t take responsibility for their actions, never apologize. High need for stimulation, bored, parasitic lifestyle. Will go after you for money, lack of realistic long term goals, impulsive, irresponsibility. Anti-social; poor behavior control, early behavior problems, hurting small animals, setting fires.
Narcissist: There’s a wide range. Underlying conditions: comes from high trauma childhoods. Huge range, from friendly and kind to extreme malignant narcissist who is a sociopath/psychopath. Overt is obvious, blames and shames others. Covert is more secretive. Communal are ‘feel good’ narcissists.
Psychopath: Sociopath who kills. Criminal mind. Planning, deception. No concern about consequences, living the high life after ripping people off. Manipulative. No remorse. Hold it together emotionally and physically. Lacks empathy.
Why do people attract toxic people?
They target caretakers; nurses, teachers, counselors. People used to high drama when they grew up.
How can someone heal their unconscious trauma; and if they don’t take action to do this, what would happen?
It’s rare that the toxic person will go to therapy. If you change nothing, nothing changes. If you’re thinking about leaving the relationship, make sure you have a plan for safety. Recognize what the trauma is. Discover the underlying reason you attracted the toxic person into your life. Often, there’s abandonment issues. You can be codependent or love addicted. You crave the love you didn’t get as a child.
- Look at the dynamics of the relationship. What traumas show up?
- Look at what you desire?
- Learn the mindset for success.
Can you name 5 things that are in an emotionally healthy, evolved, and consciously aware relationship?
- You and me against the world. Relationships are a triangle. You, him, and the relationship. It has to be equally balanced.
- Have enough in common to have a fun relationship and enjoy activities together.
- Look at the qualities in the person and be what you want to attract.
- Look good, because caveman brain wants chemistry. Women want safety.
- Don’t talk about negative stuff on dates. Stay present and know what your future is.
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