[NEW VIDEO] Are you addicted to your ex? Is it hard for you to stop obsessing about him? Here’s how to let go and move on!
Have you ever been addicted to your ex, someone you couldn’t stop thinking about? Even though he treated you poorly, you still compared every man you dated to him, and no-one measured up. Why is it so hard to let go and move on, even when someone is not healthy for us?
Addicted to Your Ex?
It’s natural to hold on to someone we once loved, because letting go feels uncertain. Most people are afraid of the unknown. We don’t know what the future holds. So we stay stuck in the past, glorifying the ex, remembering the good and forgetting the bad. The problem is when we hold onto people who aren’t good for us, it stops us from moving forward and finding an extraordinary relationship.
6 SIGNS YOU HAVEN’T MOVED ON
- You’re always wondering what could have been
- You spend a lot of time reliving memories, reading old texts, looking at photos, or stalking him on social media
- You often talk about him with friends
- When you’re feeling down, he’s the first person you think to call
- You make changes to your life or appearance to get him back
- You blame him for your pain or want to get revenge
5 STEPS TO LETTING GO
1. Delete, delete, delete.
To get over your ex, it’s important to eliminate all contact points with them, unless you have shared custody of children. That means deleting texts and photos from your phone, blocking them on social media, and removing any memories from your home. If you’re not ready to delete all of his texts and photos, you can also put them in a file on your computer, and then delete from your phone. The important thing is to get them out of sight, out of mind.
2. Practice mindfulness.
Desire for your ex will come in waves. If you feel overcome by the need to reach out to him, pause. Focus on your breathing and meditate until the craving for him subsides. Within a few minutes, you’ll feel more centered, and the intensity of the craving will go away.
3. Reclaim yourself.
What’s been neglected in your life? Reclaiming a strong self-concept – establishing who you are outside of the relationship – is critical and will be enormously supportive of a recovery. Think about the parts of yourself that might have been pushed aside during the relationship. When you’ve identified these, find ways to build them and nurture them.
4. Focus on what DIDN’T work.
After a breakup, it’s natural to remember the good times and forget the bad. Do the opposite: make a list of all the times you didn’t feel respected, valued, seen or heard. Out of that list, identify what he did to make you feel that way.
5. Read your list every day.
In order to break your addiction to your ex, it’s helpful to read the list of what didn’t work every day until it sinks in and overtakes the rosy picture your brain wants to paint. Over time, you will be turned off by the traits your ex had that didn’t feel good to you. And you’ll be able to move on and find the healthy partnership you’re seeking.
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